“What is this,” you ask. It’s a spoon cover. It covers this spoon and also tells me to enjoy my meal (which I DID!). Also? It’s so cute. This spoon seems so much more special than it otherwise would have, don’t you think?

Why the spoon? Let’s all agree that multiple cutlery covers would be too much. But why not the fork? Why not a long knife cover, or a cover for the chopsticks? I don’t know, but I think the spoon choice was the right one.

And why am I writing about this spoon cover exactly? Well I find it utterly delightful, weird capitalization and all. (I can’t not comment on the capitalization. The editor in me can’t just let it go.) The spoon cover made me slow down and enjoy my meal a little bit more than I would have otherwise. It made me forget my circumstances for just a moment and smile.

What are my circumstances? Good question.

Well, in November 2016 I was diagnosed with stage 4 gastroesophageal cancer. Stage 4 meaning it’s metastasized (specifically to my liver, pancreas, and some lymph nodes). Gastroesophageal meaning the primary tumor site is right at the junction between the esophagus and the stomach. Stage 4 meaning that it is allegedly incurable. Stage 4 meaning, holy shit.

So I think about cancer a lot. There are a lot of tears. And I don’t want that to be everything there is to my emotional landscape. I want to be sure that I’m using this time of healing to reconnect to those things that bring me great joy. Which, thankfully for me, is a lot of things. I believe that I can use delight as part of my healing process — along with the chemo and the acupuncture and the herbs and the rest of my treatment plan.

I am a delighter. I find great delight in small things. I’m going to share that delight with you. I hope it delights you, too.